I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize