Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I have tasted many bathrooms
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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