Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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