the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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