ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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