3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Randomize