WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fuck appropriateness.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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