Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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