I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
