some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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