omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
