I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
In America we eat man semen.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize