This is not my ceiling
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
