Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
