so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
