Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
