remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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