i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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