considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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