Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize