And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
