Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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