dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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