do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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