I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
