I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
