why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh god it's open bar.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize