it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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