He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
