So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
