party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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