I just saw a hot homeless man
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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