Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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