he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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