Where is the hickey?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize