turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize