these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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