I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
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Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
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Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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