i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
