I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
