And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
