Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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