I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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