She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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