her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
