a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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