I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
