when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize