I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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