I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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