we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
