lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize