Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
