like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
