You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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