He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
