I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
