Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
