another moral hangover. fuck.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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