bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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